Overheard

[leoram]

Cell Ringtone: Fortnight's "Phone it In"

Sean: "Hey buddy, how are you feeling? We are two kegs in and I'm on my second bottle of Rose."

Les: "I'm loaded on Hydroxychloroquine and quaaludes so as usual, I'm jacked!"

Sean: "That's good because it won't hurt so badly when I tell you this, are you sitting down?"

Les: "What happened?"

Sean: "The Seahawks just got Eskridge."

Les: "Damn! No worries. Tavon is faster. Let's take him"

Sean: "You mean Tutu?"

Les: "Yeah, sorry, The guy who runs really fast and makes you look bigger on the sideline."

Sean: "Carberry wants Humphrey since the Vikes got Little."

Les: "Just tell Kevin we hired him to turn around an underwhelming line like he did at Stanford. Our guys are better than that."

Sean: "It's okay...I won't have to explain anything, Kevin just hurled on Veronika so I won't give him anything until the 7th Round like I did Aaron last year. That will teach him."

Les: "Well, we only have one 7th rounder so let's trade down in the third since your buddy Kyle needs a running back. That way we can throw Kevin a bone when he wakes up tomorrow."

Sean: "Hold on, Raheem wants to talk to you."

Raheem: "Les, my man! Bolton and Werner are still available. We wanna pool party!" (Background, several chanting: Pool Party, Pool Party, Pool Party!!)

Les: "I'm over here not able to taste my food and you're wanting to party? Look, Sean's the head coach so if he wants a smurf because the WTF or whatever you call them used to have Brown, Garrett, and Seay...it's his call. We can get that "leadership" type to convey your calls in the third."

Raheem: "You mean Browning?

Les: "No, the other one."

Raheem: "Cox?"

Les: "No, Ernest Jones"

Raheem: "Never heard of him. Is he fast? Is he versatile against the pass? Or is he a great blitzer?"

Les: "Well, he's okay at those things. But I just like the name Ernest. It means he's serious about football. As a matter of fact, I'll get you Ernest Brown to replace Fox and Bobby Brown to replace Brockers.

Raheem: "Bobby Brown! Isn't he the guy that was married to Whitney Houston and Alicia Eskridge?"

Les: "That was Ethridge. Eskridge is the guy we originally wanted for Sean."

Raheem: "I'm gonna go lay down now. These names are making my head spin."

Les: "No, it's probably the Bud Ice. Let me talk to Joe D."

Joe: "Hey Les, what's up?

Les: "I'm really not feeling well. I told Raheem what he can have and Sean already put in his pick so I want you to pick your favorites the rest of the way."

Joe: "But it's still the second round, won't they say we are drafting my guys too high?"

Les: "Not if you trade down enough. We can just say it's a COVID year so all the top prospects were all suspect anyway. I gotta go now, the blankets just fell off the fort and I can't see my laptop. Later dude."

 

[Memento]

Holy shit, Leo. That made me spit out my water. Fucking hilarious shit.

 

[RamsFanCK]

:alolure gold!!

 

[MachS]

Oh shit I needed that laugh. Wow

 

[leoram]

Saturday Addendum:

Joe D: "Hey Kevin, I still needed more help on special teams so I made Les promise that next year he will get a lineman before the fifth round."

Kevin: "It's okay. I understand Jacksonville will probably be needing a new head coach next year and I'm already third on the list."

 

[leoram]

I'd love it if you guys added what you overheard

 

[Memento]

Snead flipped his head, his magnificent golden hair flowing down his neck.

"Sean, you ha-" he coughed; Covid was obviously affecting him more than he wanted to admit, "Sean, listen to me, we can't draft another -wheeze - wide receiver. We already have Robert, Cooper, Van, Desean, the Lollipop Guild member, and the tight end, we don't-"

"Les, trust me on this one," the head coach said reassuringly. "You're sick. Just...lay down, get some fresh air. I've got this."

Snead's eyebrows raised. "Like you've 'got' Jared Go-"

"I TOLD YOU NEVER TO SAY HIS NAME AGAIN!"

"What about Todd Gu-"

"Fuck that guy! Why do you keep bringing those two up, it was fucking Kevin that signed them!"

"Fine, fine. What about the Sam Rogers pick?"

"Pics or it didn't happen."

"We had RamsOnDemand all hyped up, and he didn't play a game with us."

"RamsOnDemand? I'm pretty sure this Memento chick is an idiot. If she's supposedly one of the smartest - which I highly doubt - we shouldn't listen to a word they say."

"But you have to admit she had a good idea on Jaelon Darden."

"Who?"

"Jaelon Darden. The MVP of the Sun Belt conference?"

"Whatever, Les, I've got this."

Snead relaxed in his chair. Maybe McVay was right. Maybe he had learned his less-

He perked up when he saw the three seventh round names pop up on his screen, his eyes widening with horror.

"SEAN, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PICK THOSE THREE?! WHY DID YOU PICK A RUNNING BACK WITH TWO ACL SURGERIES ON THE SAME KNEE? WHY DID YOU PICK SKOWRONEK AS A WIDE RECEIVER WHEN HE COULDN'T OUTRUN A SLOTH IN MOLASSES? HELL, WHY DID YOU PICK A THIRD RECEIVER, ANYWAY? AND WHO THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS CHRIS GARRETT?!"

"Jesus, Les, you really need to calm down. Special teams needs-"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID TO BONES, TO BONAMEGO! CHRIST, JERMAR JEFFERSON, SAGE SURRATT AND CHARLES SNOWDEN WERE RIGHT THERE!"

McVay's response was simple, almost sublime. "Who are those three again?"

 

[Malibu]

Snead flipped his head, his magnificent golden hair flowing down his neck.

"Sean, you ha-" he coughed; Covid was obviously affecting him more than he wanted to admit, "Sean, listen to me, we can't draft another -wheeze - wide receiver. We already have Robert, Cooper, Van, Desean, the Lollipop Guild member, and the tight end, we don't-"

"Les, trust me on this one," the head coach said reassuringly. "You're sick. Just...lay down, get some fresh air. I've got this."

Snead's eyebrows raised. "Like you've 'got' Jared Go-"

"I TOLD YOU NEVER TO SAY HIS NAME AGAIN!"

"What about Todd Gu-"

"Fuck that guy! Why do you keep bringing those two up, it was fucking Kevin that signed them!"

"Fine, fine. What about the Sam Rogers pick?"

"Pics or it didn't happen."

"We had RamsOnDemand all hyped up, and he didn't play a game with us."

"RamsOnDemand? I'm pretty sure this Memento chick is an idiot. If she's supposedly one of the smartest - which I highly doubt - we shouldn't listen to a word they say."

"But you have to admit she had a good idea on Jaelon Darden."

"Who?"

"Jaelon Darden. The MVP of the Sun Belt conference?"

"Whatever, Les, I've got this."

Snead relaxed in his chair. Maybe McVay was right. Maybe he had learned his less-

He perked up when he saw the three seventh round names pop up on his screen, his eyes widening with horror.

"SEAN, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU PICK THOSE THREE?! WHY DID YOU PICK A RUNNING BACK WITH TWO ACL SURGERIES ON THE SAME KNEE? WHY DID YOU PICK SKOWRONEK AS A WIDE RECEIVER WHEN HE COULDN'T OUTRUN A SLOTH IN MOLASSES? HELL, WHY DID YOU PICK A THIRD RECEIVER, ANYWAY? AND WHO THE ABSOLUTE FUCK IS CHRIS GARRETT?!"

"Jesus, Les, you really need to calm down. Special teams needs-"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID TO BONES, TO BONAMEGO! CHRIST, JERMAR JEFFERSON, SAGE SURRATT AND CHARLES SNOWDEN WERE RIGHT THERE!"

McVay's response was simple, almost sublime. "Who are those three again?"

Lollipop guild member I swear I have tears in my eyes great job.

 

[Malibu]

Leo super funny really well done!!!

 

[Ballhawk]

I heard that Snead is still on the phone trying to trade out of next year's third round!

 

[badnews]

Overheard at ROD


View: https://youtu.be/l0NynUuTPRU

 

[Billy Baroo]

 

[Boston Ram]

That was awesome....only sad part is I think you actually overheard all that. I said the same thing to a buddy of mine, just not as funny as you did lol