http://mmqb.si.com/mmqb/2015/12/27/...k-anderson-panthers-eagles-washington-week-16
I think it’s time for the
“Sunday Edition of About Last Night’s Thursday Night Football: Saturday Edition.”
Before we get into the many Keystone Cop portions of this game, I’ll say this: Kirk Cousins was sharp except for this one play at the end of the first half when… well, you know. Jordan Reed is a beast. Bill Callahan’s largely underachieving O-line even did some mauling in the second half. Preston Smith is really good. This is a team that can win a home playoff game against any opponent.
However, there's no denying that this was another ugly “early week” game (and another ugly NFC East game). I obviously haven’t watched Game Pass yet, but head-scratchers included:
a. Bashaud Breeland tracks a ball to the end zone like he just did the
ol’ “Dizzy Bat” race at a minor league baseball game. Nelson Agholor wins the lack-of-motor-skills challenge by dropping the easiest touchdown he’ll ever get.
b. DeAngelo Hall apparently signals to Quinton Dunbar, the only other defensive back on the right side of the field,
let’s not cover Zach Ertz at all, okay? Dunbar obliges, and the brilliant stratagem works! (Just kidding, but you can understand how these miscommunications happen so early in the season.) Sam Bradford manages to overthrow Ertz, who was so wide-open he could have chosen anything from Ministry of Silly Walks skit and scored untouched.
c. At the end of the first half, Washington gets the ball back with 29 seconds left and no timeouts, at its own 29. On the first play of the drive, Philly sits back in Cover-2 and a corner (Eric Rowe?) jumps the route in the flat, choosing to give up 22 yards instead of six on the play.
d. With 17 second left (and, again, no timeouts), instead of trying a 41-yard field goal Washington throws over the middle, 18 yards downfield, and has to race to the line to get the ball spiked. My team of scienticians estimates a 28% chance that they won’t be able to get to the line and spike it in time, until…
e. Philly safety Walter Thurmond puts Washington at ease by slapping the ball out of Jordan Reed’s hands, an obvious delay of game penalty.
f. Apparently in celebration of the opponents’ stupidity, Kirk Cousins instinctively goes into victory formation and takes a knee, passing up a 23-yard attempt to bring the first half to a merciful end.
g. Despite halftime providing 12 full minutes to assess my life choices, I opt to neglect my family for another 90 or so minutes of the holiday season and settle in for the second half.
h. Bradford hits Riley Cooper on a deep crosser in-stride, which Cooper promptly drops on the way to the ground. Chip Kelly has no chance of winning a challenge but throws the red flag anyway, because timeouts in the second half when you’re playing from behind are for losers.
i. Bradford mishandles a shotgun snap and takes his frustration out on DeMarco Murray by feeding him a hospital ball in the flat.
j. After an eight-yard run up the gut, the Eagles run a play in which Bradford throws some kind of lateral shovel pass to Murray, who never comes close to catching it. The ball is kicked to DeAngelo Hall for a walk-in TD.
k. Murray heads back to the bench for good. He is costing the Eagles $7,405.21 per rushing yard this season. Last year in Dallas, he cost the Cowboys $865.38 per yard.
l. The Eagles send the punt team out, down 21, on fourth-and-two, then burn a timeout before sending the offense back in. Again, who needs timeouts when you’re trailing in the second half?
m. Kenjon Barner drops a lightly thrown pass on a well-designed screen, the Eagles’ 78th drop of the night.
n. In the red zone, center Jason Kelce scoops up a Bradford fumble, heads around right end and breaks two tackles, a two-yard gain. Kelce is immediately elevated above Murray on the depth chart.
o. Barner drops another pass, making Murray look like Jerry Rice from a hands-perspective.
p. The No. 94 on Preston Smith’s shoulder is permanently tattooed in Bradford’s chest.
And that’s how the NFC East was “won.” Deal with it America, FedEx Field will host a playoff game, likely against Seattle, in two weeks. What could go wrong?
Photo: John McDonnell/The Washington Post/Getty Images