Strangest Place you have ever awakened in

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-X-

Medium-sized Lebowski
Joined
Jun 20, 2010
Messages
35,576
Name
The Dude
The back seat of my car, in a McDonald's parking lot.

Hey I was like 7 and fell asleep during a road trip. My parents couldn't find a hotel so we slept in the car at a rest stop and the next morning stopped at McDs for breakfast.
Ahhhh. There's nothing like McDonalds breakfast in the car on a road trip.
 

Elmgrovegnome

Legend
Joined
Jan 23, 2013
Messages
21,604
Okay this was a long time ago. Back in my High School Daze! I went to a Peter Frampton concert with some friends in Long Beach CA. It was a great show! at least the part I can remember. The next morning I woke up in a pitch black room. I turned on a lamp next to the bed and realized I was in a hotel room.
I got up and noticed the room had these big dark sun blocking drapes on the windows so I pulled one open and the brightest sun I've ever seen came shinning into the room. After my eyes adjusted which took about 15 min I was amazed to see the Las Vegas strip staring back at me.
How the hell did I get here? Well after an hour or so here come my two friends back to the room after an all nighter in the casino. They told me they wanted to come to Vegas and didn't know what to do with their drunk passed out friend (me) so they put me in the car and brought me with them.

I thought you were gonna say your butt hurt and their was a bus ticket to California on the dresser.
 

Elmgrovegnome

Legend
Joined
Jan 23, 2013
Messages
21,604
I was home for winter break from college. I went to this party at an apartment with my college roommate. It was more like a house that was a double. I got their and was thinking this joints getting busted for sure. The houses were all close together and all the high school jocks from my class were there and it was starting to fill up quick. Unlike most of their parties this one had a lot of hot chicks, which was trouble because that is when a few of them get stupid. We were having fun, things were going good and then someone broke out Mark's liquor stash. Mark was the older dorky guy that had the party. He was always sucking up to my friends and they really took advantage of it. So, I start doing shots and then I had to piss but the bathroom was not happening so I walked out front around the block to the backyard and took a piss.

I woke up to people yelling and lights flashing and people running everywhere. I was face down in the snow in his neighbors backyard. At first I wasnt sure what was going on or where I was, but I saw people running down the alley and cops chasing and police car lights flashing at the end of the alley. It didn't take long to figure it out. I laid low until I thought it was safe and walked back to Marks house and crawled in the back window and crashed on his couch.

That's the best I can do.
 

LesBaker

Mr. Savant
Joined
Aug 23, 2012
Messages
17,460
Name
Les
OK I'm in..........

There used to be a picture as evidence, and this was back when the instamatic cameras would spit out the pic and you'd shake them to dry them and develop them. I wish I had that picture, I'd frame it.

A place I was working at was going to have a pig roast and party for all the employees and wives/husbands/boyfriends/girfriends and anyone else. Basically a reason to get drunk on a day off and we were all down for that.

Anyway there was a chick I worked with that was hot and this was the only time I interacted with her in a social situation, we never went out in the same groups for the after work drink stuff. Her name was Jackie and she had tits, amazing tits. Amazing everything really, she was the hot chick that all the guys wanted but never went after. She could make a pair of Levi's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen LOL.

Anyway as the night wore on we were all drinking in the office and in the warehouse. Just outside of the dock door is where the pig was going to be roasted. There were people everywhere drinking and smoking weed outside late into the night.......... and I was doing my part trust me. I end up chatting Jackie up and after a couple of hours we end up in a friends office. It was one of the few that had a sofa and I knew his door locked.

Now I did NOT pull an @-X- and fall asleep DURING the deed, but it was nearly 3 am when we finished and afterwards I essentially passed out like a log.

I woke up still totally naked on the sofa, with a pig next to me and I had one leg and one arm wrapped around it and my head resting against it. Yup I was butt naked and full on playing cuddle-bunny with a dead pig!!! Some people had come in to take a look while I was out cold, and someone got a pic.

Anyway the picture made the rounds to just a few people thankfully, and it was actually funny..........even to me, but everyone knew the story about me being naked and hugging the pig. As it turns out she and I both fell asleep and she hadn't had as much to drink so woke up and left, which left the door unlocked. The guys who's office it was discovered me naked on his couch and as revenge for fucking on his sofa (there was evidence and he was pissed LOL :)) when the pig and equipment to cook it showed up a little later in the morning he decided to play match maker with the help of a couple of other guys. My only recourse was to make remarks like "that's the part my balls were touching"while the guys who did it were eating the pig.

I hooked up with Jackie several more times over the next few months so it was worth it. Nobody knew it was her that was in there with me having sex or that we hooked up many times afterwards. Every once in awhile someone would bring up the prank and I wouldn't say anything, but in my head I would think "it's been SO worth it".
 

Selassie I

H. I. M.
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Joined
Jun 23, 2010
Messages
17,620
Name
Haole
OK I'm in..........

There used to be a picture as evidence, and this was back when the instamatic cameras would spit out the pic and you'd shake them to dry them and develop them. I wish I had that picture, I'd frame it.

A place I was working at was going to have a pig roast and party for all the employees and wives/husbands/boyfriends/girfriends and anyone else. Basically a reason to get drunk on a day off and we were all down for that.

Anyway there was a chick I worked with that was hot and this was the only time I interacted with her in a social situation, we never went out in the same groups for the after work drink stuff. Her name was Jackie and she had tits, amazing tits. Amazing everything really, she was the hot chick that all the guys wanted but never went after. She could make a pair of Levi's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen LOL.

Anyway as the night wore on we were all drinking in the office and in the warehouse. Just outside of the dock door is where the pig was going to be roasted. There were people everywhere drinking and smoking weed outside late into the night.......... and I was doing my part trust me. I end up chatting Jackie up and after a couple of hours we end up in a friends office. It was one of the few that had a sofa and I knew his door locked.

Now I did NOT pull an @-X- and fall asleep DURING the deed, but it was nearly 3 am when we finished and afterwards I essentially passed out like a log.

I woke up still totally naked on the sofa, with a pig next to me and I had one leg and one arm wrapped around it and my head resting against it. Yup I was butt naked and full on playing cuddle-bunny with a dead pig!!! Some people had come in to take a look while I was out cold, and someone got a pic.

Anyway the picture made the rounds to just a few people thankfully, and it was actually funny..........even to me, but everyone knew the story about me being naked and hugging the pig. As it turns out she and I both fell asleep and she hadn't had as much to drink so woke up and left, which left the door unlocked. The guys who's office it was discovered me naked on his couch and as revenge for freaking on his sofa (there was evidence and he was pissed LOL :)) when the pig and equipment to cook it showed up a little later in the morning he decided to play match maker with the help of a couple of other guys. My only recourse was to make remarks like "that's the part my balls were touching"while the guys who did it were eating the pig.

I hooked up with Jackie several more times over the next few months so it was worth it. Nobody knew it was her that was in there with me having sex or that we hooked up many times afterwards. Every once in awhile someone would bring up the prank and I wouldn't say anything, but in my head I would think "it's been SO worth it".


Naked pics of you have been passed around a lot longer than I thought. LOL
 

-X-

Medium-sized Lebowski
Joined
Jun 20, 2010
Messages
35,576
Name
The Dude
OK I'm in..........

There used to be a picture as evidence, and this was back when the instamatic cameras would spit out the pic and you'd shake them to dry them and develop them. I wish I had that picture, I'd frame it.

A place I was working at was going to have a pig roast and party for all the employees and wives/husbands/boyfriends/girfriends and anyone else. Basically a reason to get drunk on a day off and we were all down for that.

Anyway there was a chick I worked with that was hot and this was the only time I interacted with her in a social situation, we never went out in the same groups for the after work drink stuff. Her name was Jackie and she had tits, amazing tits. Amazing everything really, she was the hot chick that all the guys wanted but never went after. She could make a pair of Levi's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen LOL.

Anyway as the night wore on we were all drinking in the office and in the warehouse. Just outside of the dock door is where the pig was going to be roasted. There were people everywhere drinking and smoking weed outside late into the night.......... and I was doing my part trust me. I end up chatting Jackie up and after a couple of hours we end up in a friends office. It was one of the few that had a sofa and I knew his door locked.

Now I did NOT pull an @-X- and fall asleep DURING the deed, but it was nearly 3 am when we finished and afterwards I essentially passed out like a log.

I woke up still totally naked on the sofa, with a pig next to me and I had one leg and one arm wrapped around it and my head resting against it. Yup I was butt naked and full on playing cuddle-bunny with a dead pig!!! Some people had come in to take a look while I was out cold, and someone got a pic.

Anyway the picture made the rounds to just a few people thankfully, and it was actually funny..........even to me, but everyone knew the story about me being naked and hugging the pig. As it turns out she and I both fell asleep and she hadn't had as much to drink so woke up and left, which left the door unlocked. The guys who's office it was discovered me naked on his couch and as revenge for freaking on his sofa (there was evidence and he was pissed LOL :)) when the pig and equipment to cook it showed up a little later in the morning he decided to play match maker with the help of a couple of other guys. My only recourse was to make remarks like "that's the part my balls were touching"while the guys who did it were eating the pig.

I hooked up with Jackie several more times over the next few months so it was worth it. Nobody knew it was her that was in there with me having sex or that we hooked up many times afterwards. Every once in awhile someone would bring up the prank and I wouldn't say anything, but in my head I would think "it's been SO worth it".
lol. Nice.

But I'd rather wake up inside a chick than wake up spooning a side of pork.
 

Selassie I

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Haole
I really don't have any wake up nightmare stories of my own to tell... but my friend Chris had a real nightmare wake up that keeps running through my head because of this thread.

Chris is my surfing buddy from way back in HS. He loves surfing more than anyone I've ever known. Before he got married his whole reason for living was his annual surfing trip to some exotic part of the world. I don't think there's any famous break he hasn't been to.

One year his surf trip was driving down through part of Central America and a long way down the Pacific Coast of South America. He had a few other guys with him on the trip and they were gone for at least a month. They would sleep on the beaches along the way in tents many nights,,, but sometimes they'd luck out and find very cool houses on the beach to rent for next to nothing.

On the last night of their trip they were able to luck into a really large beach house. No real furniture, so they still had to sleep in sleeping bags. They partied like rock stars on their last night of the trip. Chris said that he remembers waking up around noon the next day on his sleeping bag... it was hot so he wasn't sleeping in it. He had one arm laying across the floor close to the wall. Well apparently, his arm was pissing off the house's resident rat. Chris said he felt a sharp pain in his hand... he woke up and saw this big rat bitting the shit out of his hand.

They flew home that afternoon. Chris started freaking out about the rat maybe being rabid. He went to the doctor when he got home. Basically you only have a few days to take the stomach injections if you want to survive being bitten by a rabid animal. The doctor wanted him to start the shots right away... Chris did NOT want those extremely painful shots. He was putting it off trying to find out if the rat had rabies.

Anyway, he had like one day left before he was going to start the injections. He had been calling doctors all over the country about this. The poison or disease control office called him with some extremely important information. The part of the world that he was in when he was bitten apparently did not have rabies. He was able to pass on getting the shots at the very last minute.
 

HX76

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I remember quite a few years ago waking up next to this bird at her gaff. No idea how I got there but what woke me up was her pal had turned up and was telling her how my mate had just got his old boy out in front of her and she scarpered which obviously took place the night before. I was trying not to laugh as I didn't want them to think I was awake so I could escape without notice!

By the way I realise that's not really such a strange place to wake up, so I apologise for that.
 

RamFan503

Grill and Brew Master
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33,810
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Stu
The only one I have is that I was with a friend of mine that always talked about wanting to go on a spur of the moment road trip. Well after playing Dungeons and Dragons for two days straight (yes... total nerd fest) we were driving around and I fell asleep in his car. Next thing I know, he's waking me up in the parking lot of Disneyland 300 miles from home. But who was I to complain? I was now at the happiest place on earth.
 

LazyWinker

Pro Bowler
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Jun 19, 2014
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Paul
I really don't have any wake up nightmare stories of my own to tell... but my friend Chris had a real nightmare wake up that keeps running through my head because of this thread.

Chris is my surfing buddy from way back in HS. He loves surfing more than anyone I've ever known. Before he got married his whole reason for living was his annual surfing trip to some exotic part of the world. I don't think there's any famous break he hasn't been to.

One year his surf trip was driving down through part of Central America and a long way down the Pacific Coast of South America. He had a few other guys with him on the trip and they were gone for at least a month. They would sleep on the beaches along the way in tents many nights,,, but sometimes they'd luck out and find very cool houses on the beach to rent for next to nothing.

On the last night of their trip they were able to luck into a really large beach house. No real furniture, so they still had to sleep in sleeping bags. They partied like rock stars on their last night of the trip. Chris said that he remembers waking up around noon the next day on his sleeping bag... it was hot so he wasn't sleeping in it. He had one arm laying across the floor close to the wall. Well apparently, his arm was pissing off the house's resident rat. Chris said he felt a sharp pain in his hand... he woke up and saw this big rat bitting the crap out of his hand.

They flew home that afternoon. Chris started freaking out about the rat maybe being rabid. He went to the doctor when he got home. Basically you only have a few days to take the stomach injections if you want to survive being bitten by a rabid animal. The doctor wanted him to start the shots right away... Chris did NOT want those extremely painful shots. He was putting it off trying to find out if the rat had rabies.

Anyway, he had like one day left before he was going to start the injections. He had been calling doctors all over the country about this. The poison or disease control office called him with some extremely important information. The part of the world that he was in when he was bitten apparently did not have rabies. He was able to pass on getting the shots at the very last minute.
Did they happen to finance their trips by robbing banks dressed as dead presidents?

Is there anything worse than rats?
 

LesBaker

Mr. Savant
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Aug 23, 2012
Messages
17,460
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Les
lol. Nice.

But I'd rather wake up inside a chick than wake up spooning a side of pork.

At least I got to finish!

And let me be clear, I was NOT spooning. This was full on wrap and tangle cuddling. Had that thing been at least room temperature who knows what I would have done to it!

EDIT: One other thing......at least the chick I was with came back for more LOL......
 

LesBaker

Mr. Savant
Joined
Aug 23, 2012
Messages
17,460
Name
Les
I remember quite a few years ago waking up next to this bird at her gaff. No idea how I got there but what woke me up was her pal had turned up and was telling her how my mate had just got his old boy out in front of her and she scarpered which obviously took place the night before. I was trying not to laugh as I didn't want them to think I was awake so I could escape without notice!

By the way I realise that's not really such a strange place to wake up, so I apologise for that.

Can anyone translate........

HX is talking funny again!!!
 

RhodyRams

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Once woke up in my ex girlfriends mother's bed, and she was in the kitchen making steak and eggs.

Haven't drank Southern Comfort since that day
 

shaunpinney

Hall of Fame
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Sep 20, 2012
Messages
4,805
There have been a few bizarre places.

A strange bath n the middle of a massive bathroom of a house where 5 women lived, didn't know who the hell they were and they kept calling me Tommy... didn't even remember the night before past getting to talking to some woman at a gig that invited me to a house party, somewhere... they kept calling for weeks!

In bed with the tour manager of a rock band (she was a woman!) in a totally deserted hotel that the band had booked out after signing their record contract...

On a tour bus with another band travelling to their next gig holding a Les Paul Gold Top...

There's a pattern here you see... I now don't drink at concerts, well not since I was back stage at a gig and the lead singer wanted to swap clothes with me...
 

tavian

Not me.I am waaaay uglier
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Between my uncle Raefords bosoms.Long story.Anyways he says it don't mean nothin on a count were family
 

IowaRam

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Iowa
All you guys got me beat , I was going to say Boot Camp , but that seems kinda mild compared to all your stories.............lol