Losing my Dad this week

[Ramhusker]

My Dad is 90 and seemingly getting along great. He was mentally sharp and pretty independent. I have an uncle in hospice care and called my Dad about 2:30 Thursday to get my uncle's number to talk to him one last time. Little did I know it would probably be the last conversation I'd have with my Dad. About 2 1/2 hours later, my sister would find him unresponsive. She just happened to be talking to her best friend (a nurse) on the phone at the time so help was called immediately. After CPR by my sister and the nurse and 3 shocks from the 911 crew, they had a faint pulse and heartbeat. Taken to the closest hospital then a helicopter flight to a better facility, my Dad was placed on life sport. I like to believe in miracles but given my Dad's age and the odds the doctor gives him for recovery (10-15%), I think we are just waiting to make that decision to pull the ventilator. I was hoping to never have to make such a decision but I suppose most people have to sooner or later in life. I don't know if people in this state of being can hear or understand you talking to them but I like to think it is one of the reasons they end up this way, to give loved ones a chance to say goodbye. I know my Dad has lived a good long life and his mission here must be done. What I'm struggling with at the moment is what do you say to a person you love and has made sacrifices for you all your life that you are about to give up on their existence here? None of the other trials in your life prepare you for this time.
Sorry to bring people down but just needed to lean on the ROD family a little bit this morning.

 

[ScotsRam]

That's a tough situation Husker. Here's hoping he pulls through. The silver lining if the worst happens is that you have the opportunity to say goodbye which is not afforded to all families. Make the most of that. You'll be supporting those around you at this time but please remember to take time for yourself too and to seek support for you from those around you as well. Families are wonderful things when they come together in times like these. Wishing you all the best buddy and keep us updated with your old man's fight.

 

[OldSchool]

Thought's and prayers with you and your family brother. Recently went through the untimely passing of a cousin last year. The other day would have been his 40th birthday and it was a very rough day to get through. Hoping for the best for your dad.

 

[ozarkram]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. I lost my Dad 6 or so years ago. And your right nothing prepares you. My father hid his illness from us until he couldn't anymore. He didn't want to burden anyone. So by the time we all found out he was all but gone. I was numb during the process and I guess I never really grieved properly with everything happening so fast. The pain came later and in the little things, in the remembering. I have I believe made my peace now but a day doesn't go by that I do not remember. I wish you strength and peace my friend. There is no ending, just the next chapter.

 

[Prime Time]

My wife found herself in the same situation with her dad. We were up in Toronto at the time and she flew to where he was in Colorado. He was on life-support, in a coma, so she just took his hand and talked to him as if he could hear her. Strength and peace to you and your loved ones.

 

[FaulkSF]

Husker, that's tough brother. My thoughts and prayers for your father. I can't imagine the pain you and your family are going through.

I want to believe that people can still hear you in a comatose state. It sounds like you're close to your father, I'd speak words of encouragement from the heart and share some good memories.

 

[bnw]

My Dad is 90 and seemingly getting along great. He was mentally sharp and pretty independent. I have an uncle in hospice care and called my Dad about 2:30 Thursday to get my uncle's number to talk to him one last time. Little did I know it would probably be the last conversation I'd have with my Dad. About 2 1/2 hours later, my sister would find him unresponsive. She just happened to be talking to her best friend (a nurse) on the phone at the time so help was called immediately. After CPR by my sister and the nurse and 3 shocks from the 911 crew, they had a faint pulse and heartbeat. Taken to the closest hospital then a helicopter flight to a better facility, my Dad was placed on life sport. I like to believe in miracles but given my Dad's age and the odds the doctor gives him for recovery (10-15%), I think we are just waiting to make that decision to pull the ventilator. I was hoping to never have to make such a decision but I suppose most people have to sooner or later in life. I don't know if people in this state of being can hear or understand you talking to them but I like to think it is one of the reasons they end up this way, to give loved ones a chance to say goodbye. I know my Dad has lived a good long life and his mission here must be done. What I'm struggling with at the moment is what do you say to a person you love and has made sacrifices for you all your life that you are about to give up on their existence here? None of the other trials in your life prepare you for this time.
Sorry to bring people down but just needed to lean on the ROD family a little bit this morning.

Just realize whatever decision you make will be the right one. (Living wills are exactly for this type of situation.) I wish you the best.

 

[Memento]

I'm so sorry, Husker. My thoughts go to you and your family.

 

[Dodgersrf]

You tell them you love them and am proud of the man they have raised.
I think as a parent, you sometimes doubt yourself. Maybe try to do things better.
Let him know he did a great job as a Father.

I'm sorry for your loss.
Parents are tough. They've been there for us our entire lives. Before our friends, wives and children.....they were there.
It's a tough adjustment not having them near.
As with any major loss. You never stop loving or get over them. You just learn to live away from them.

 

[CGI_Ram]

@Ramhusker

Thoughts are with you, brother.

 

[RedRam]

@Ramhusker

Very tough times... Thoughts and prayers for you and yours!

 

[LesBaker]

just needed to lean on the ROD family a little bit this morning.

Anytime at all............it's never an issue. Positive vibes to you my man.

 

[RhodyRams]

Bo,

Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this tough time and beyond.

It sucks having to make that decision but one thing you have to consider is your Dads quality of life. Tell your Dad thank you for being your Dad and that you love him.

If you want to talk, PM me and I'll call. Think I still have your number

 

[RamFan503]

Same here Bo. You should have my number if you want to talk.

Tough times for sure. You met my dad in the Lou. I can only imagine what you are going through as I fear that day with my dad.

Just be there and keep strong. I'm sure your dad feels your love.

 

[SierraRam]

@Ramhusker

The emotions flow and recede like tides. Feb 11th marked the 25th year since my father passed. He'd have been 92. Like your father, a member of the greatest generation. Cherish each day and be strong for your family. God bless

 

[Ramhusker]

Thanks for all your support and wisdom. I think we have exhausted all medical help available. My kids get here tonight to say goodbye and I think it may be time in the morning. Thanks again. ROD is like a rock.

 

[JackDRams]

Hey Husker, I'm sorry to hear about your situation. My thoughts and prayers go to you and your family. You're a great dude.

 

[Sportsed]

Very sorry to hear about your dad and uncle. My thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family.

 

[Leuzer]

Man that's tough; nothing ever prepares you for this moment in life. Tell him you love him and thank him for everything he's done for your family. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family tonight.

 

[TXRams86]

I lost my father last month and let me tell you, nothing could have ever prepared me for that. He was only 63 years old (I'm 30) and we thought he was in relatively good health. He ended up passing away due to a heart attack before any of us could get to the hospital. The pain I felt the days/weeks immediately following his passing was pretty immense, and I tend to deal with the passing of people relatively well; my mother and brother both passed a few years ago. When my dad died, I felt like my best friend had been taken from me.

If there is any advice that I can give you it would be to enjoy the time you have right now...say everything that comes to your heart/mind because you've been blessed with the opportunity to be by his side during this. Times will be tough immediately following but you have to stay strong and remember not of his passing but of how he lived. The great times, conversations, advice he shared with you will really help you get through things. Remember that you're not alone in this and that many of us have experienced what you're going through/will go through. Don't hesitate to reach out..