Happy Wife....Happy Life??

[Mister Sin]

Thought it could be fun to share some of the wild shit our spouses have made us do.


So about a month ago my wife comes to me and says "I think I really wanna get some chickens."....Naturally....I laugh at her. "We ain't gettin' any GD chickens" I say as I take a rip from my bong.....she kept talking about it. I even said the words..."I'm putting my foot down!" I exclaimed "We are not getting any damn chickens."

Well...u ever be in the middle of a dispute with your spouse and they seem way to fuckin comfortable? Like they aren't even getting upset at all that you are telling them "No"? Well....brothers....I had this moment. I put that foot down and she fuckin laughed.....laughed right the fuck at my face! And kinda does that smart ass grin and shook her head as if to say..."oh yea?"

Then she says something that ended it all....she looks at my fancy bong and my few ounces of smoke..(I keep my shit all nice an seperated in jars in a nice lock box...yea im proud of my shit!)....anyway....she says to me "you spend $4-500 a month on weed. Im getting fuckin chickens. And your building my coop."

Men....when I tell you I was shook....I had only one response...."Okay, but no more than 10. And you gotta give me til Mothers Day." I fell apart like wet newspaper.

Well.....its been a month.....still a month from Mothers Day.....we now have 28 Chickens and 2 ducks. My fat ass was out there building a chicken run 3 days later because she showed up with 3 Barred Rocks!

Here's the crazy part....I fucking LOVE these birds! Turned out to be awesome!

 

[Loyal]

Thought it could be fun to share some of the wild shit our spouses have made us do.


So about a month ago my wife comes to me and says "I think I really wanna get some chickens."....Naturally....I laugh at her. "We ain't gettin' any GD chickens" I say as I take a rip from my bong.....she kept talking about it. I even said the words..."I'm putting my foot down!" I exclaimed "We are not getting any damn chickens."

Well...u ever be in the middle of a dispute with your spouse and they seem way to fuckin comfortable? Like they aren't even getting upset at all that you are telling them "No"? Well....brothers....I had this moment. I put that foot down and she fuckin laughed.....laughed right the fuck at my face! And kinda does that smart ass grin and shook her head as if to say..."oh yea?"

Then she says something that ended it all....she looks at my fancy bong and my few ounces of smoke..(I keep my shit all nice an seperated in jars in a nice lock box...yea im proud of my shit!)....anyway....she says to me "you spend $4-500 a month on weed. Im getting fuckin chickens. And your building my coop."

Men....when I tell you I was shook....I had only one response...."Okay, but no more than 10. And you gotta give me til Mothers Day." I fell apart like wet newspaper.

Well.....its been a month.....still a month from Mothers Day.....we now have 28 Chickens and 2 ducks. My fat ass was out there building a chicken run 3 days later because she showed up with 3 Barred Rocks!

Here's the crazy part....I fucking LOVE these birds! Turned out to be awesome!

“Hey Dad, these chickens look tasty!” ~ Shithead

 

[Mister Sin]

“Hey Dad, these chickens look tasty!” ~ Shithead

When the ducklings were still only 2-4 weeks old I would bring them in to put them in the tub to get some water time in. And both my dogs were losing their minds. Shithead was actually the better of the two. He was very gentle.

 

[oldnotdead]

My wife never had a job in her entire life. She never needed it. Her family was old money. Her grandfather was one of the original citrus farmers in the San Fernando Valley. He owned most of what is now Chatsworth. The family owns an oil field in Bakersfield and a couple of blocks old town Pasadena. That is just their So Cal holdings.

As I got older I scaled back my work schedule so I was basically working only Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays for the last 8 years (self-employed for 33 years). Being a housewife bored her so I hired the daughter of one of my employees to come in and clean the house and do the laundry twice a week. Got the picture?

It was a Friday and she was sitting on the bed watching me finish up paying a few bills at the desk in the bedroom. Suddenly out of the blue (I thought she was reading and we weren't conversing) she asks me if I wanted to have sex. I said sure just let me finish with this last bill. Then she suddenly said maybe we should wait till tonight. (it was 11 am) I said okay whatever you want. Then she said no maybe now would be better because what if we go out or something? I said sure that makes sense we might be too tired later. Then she said but you might want to do something else when I finish with the bills so later might be better. So then I said, I got an idea let's get it on now and if we feel like it we could do it later too.

I turned to look at her with a smile and she just stared at me for a minute. She got mad and said is that all you ever think about? I said what I did because I realized she was just getting hormonal, she got that way when her period was going to start. When it did it was a no fly zone with her. So I told her no it's not all I think about (I said it nicely with a smile). I got up and started to walk out of the room. She asked me where I was going and I told her I was going fishing. Carrie was like that each month. She never got bitchy like some women do, just a bit crazy minded. When I got back she was fine and I simply BBQ the crappie I caught for dinner.

My GF Maggie is completely different. She turns into a total sex maniac that time of month. You think that's great right? Believe me not when you have to work the next day. But I'm retired so it's not a problem now, again I'm lucky she doesn't turn into a witch. The guy next door, his wife turns into a screaming witch. So he goes and stays with his brother which is fine because they work for the same company. Maggie and I laugh because we always know when she's that way because she constantly screams at the poor dog.

 

[oldnotdead]

When I was a kid I had a Rhode Island red for a pet. That is until someone stole her and I'm sure had her for dinner. That's the problem with living in a barrio. So my next pet was a dog. But the Chinese kid from down the block kept saying my dog was too skinny. So after that, the dog got to sleep inside the house at night.

 

[snackdaddy]

 

[dieterbrock]

Worst thing my wife ever did was when she said yes to the marriage proposal. Probably the last time she's said yes come to think of it