LEGEND Dumbass of the Day

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PT
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My little guy's name is Harley. He's not really little... he a 35 pound "miniature". He's not fat, just grew bigger than he was supposed to. Ha

He is the smartest dog I've ever owned. He's almost human. He was potty trained from birth we believe... got him at 8 weeks and he's never had an accident inside. He's 15 yrs old now.

Charlie was medium sized with the cropped ears. He was my mother's dog. If one day my brother joins up here, he can verify this story. I'm laying on the couch while my brother is somewhere in the room.

Charlie is off in the corner slurping himself loudly. I tell him to shut up and throw a slipper at him. He slows walks over to me, puts his paws on the couch, puts his nose right up against my face and gives me a look like, "Do that again and I'll kill you!"

After his accident there were at least 7 biting incidents of neighbors and one of my friends. He didn't suffer fools gladly.
 

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http://theweek.com/speedreads/577771/brawl-breaks-japanese-parliament-during-debate-over-pacifism

Brawl breaks out in Japanese Parliament during debate over pacifism

Throwing punches may not be the best way to express your opposition in parliament. That didn't stop Japanese lawmakers from trying out a few of their moves in the upper house on Thursday night, when a highly controversial bill aiming to loosen World War II-era restrictions on the military moved to the floor for a vote.

Scenes reminiscent of a rugby match played out Thursday in the committee chamber where lawmakers have been debating the bills for weeks. Opposition politicians tried to prevent voting by piling on top of the committee chairman and wrestling away his microphone. Governing party lawmakers pulled them away and formed a protective scrum around the chairman to allow him to call the vote. The scenes were broadcast live on television by the national broadcaster, NHK. [The New York Times]

The 11 bills were ultimately passed and will go to another vote by the full upper house next. If approved, they will allow for Japan to use its military in defense of allies even if there is no immediate threat to Japan. The change is opposed by the majority of the public, The New York Times reports, despite Prime Minister Shinzo Abe's strong push to make Japan more militarily independent and more involved in foreign affairs. Jeva Lange
 

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Here's your pre-Halloween dangerous dumbass.
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https://ca.news.yahoo.com/florida-woman-arrested-booby-trapped-home-more-3-221832839.html

Florida woman arrested in 'booby trapped' home with more than 3,700 blades
By Les Neuhaus

TAMPA, Fla. (Reuters) - A Florida woman living in a mobile home that was "booby trapped" with more than 3,714 swords, knives and other bladed weapons was in jail on Thursday after attacking officers who had come to arrest her, police said.


  • Nickcole Dykema is pictured in this undated booking photo, provided by the Hernando …
Nickcole Dykema, 47, was being held without bond on charges including assaulting an officer and resisting arrest, said Hernando County Sheriff's Department spokeswoman Denise Moloney.

Authorities discovered a macabre scene Tuesday evening when they arrived to arrest Dykema for a probation violation, with blades hanging from the ceiling and walls of her mobile home in Brooksville, about 50 miles north of Tampa, Moloney said.

When officers knocked on her door, Dykema barricaded herself inside and then lunged at one officer with a sword-like weapon, narrowly missing an officer's head, Moloney said.

It took deputies five hours to subdue Dykema and arrest her, Moloney said. Several investigators suffered minor injuries removing the blades from the home.

Authorities said they also discovered booby traps, fake skeletons, rubber Halloween-style masks and fake severed limbs throughout the residence.

"You name it and it was in there," Moloney said, adding sheriff's officials believed Dykema needed help for mental illness.

At the time of the incident, Dykema was on probation because of a February conviction for carrying a concealed firearm without a permit, Moloney said. Officers obtained warrants for her arrest after a neighbor accused her of knifing a screen window.

It was not immediately clear if Dykema had an attorney.

(Editing by Letitia Stein and Bill Trott)
 

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http://www.wafb.com/story/30090063/cameron-sheriff-1-year-old-found-alone-on-holly-beach

Naked jogging couple leaves 1-year-old alone on beach
By Johnathan Manning

Cody and Monique Bourgeois (Source: Cameron Parish Sheriff's Office)

CAMERON PARISH, LA (KPLC) -
A 1-year-old girl was found alone on Holly Beach Tuesday morning, Cameron Parish Sheriff Ron Johnson said. The parents were located jogging naked three to four miles down the beach.

The Cameron Parish Sheriff's Office received a report of the 20-month-old child alone on the beach at 10:16 a.m., Johnson said. When deputies arrived at the beach at 10:33 a.m., they found the baby a short distance from a Ford Explorer, which was running.

The parents, Cody and Monique Bourgeois, were located nearly two hours later down the beach, Johnson said. Both were arrested and charged with child desertion and obscenity.

Johnson said drug abuse is suspected.

Child protective services has been called to investigate.
 

LesBaker

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Want to know one of the things that's wrong with our educational system? The teacher's union. On what non-union job would you be allowed to be late 111 times in 2 years and still keep your job? Get an alarm clock, dumbass!
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http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/New-Jersey-teacher-keeps-job-despite-being-late-6468555.php

New Jersey teacher who was late for work 111 times keeps job

NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. (AP) — An elementary school teacher has been allowed to keep his job even though he was late for work 111 times over a two-year period.

In a decision filed Aug. 19, an arbitrator rejected an attempt by the Roosevelt Elementary School to fire 15-year veteran Arnold Anderson from his $90,000-a-year job, saying he was entitled to progressive discipline.

Anderson was late 46 times in the most recent school year through March 20 and 65 times in the previous school year, the arbitrator said. But the arbitrator criticized Anderson's claim that the quality of his teaching outweighed his tardiness.

He relied on "micro-quibbles of a few unpersuasive explanations, with a macro-default position that even when he is late he nevertheless delivers a superb educational experience to his grateful students," the arbitrator wrote.

The arbitrator found that the district failed to provide Anderson with due process by providing him with a formal notice of inefficiency or by giving him 90 days to correct his failings before terminating his employment.

Wow, where to begin with this one......
 

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http://www.foxnews.com/us/2015/09/2...-gas-pump-on-fire-trying-to-kill-spider-with/

Michigan motorist sets car, gas pump on fire trying to kill spider with cigarette lighter
Published September 26, 2015
FoxNews.com

cropped%20gas%20station%20fire.jpg



A motorist got more than he bargained for when he stopped at a Michigan gas station earlier this week and started a fire when he tried to kill a spider with a cigarette lighter.

Surveillance video from the Mobil gas station in Center Line shows flames quickly engulfing the man’s car and the gas pump, Fox 2 Detroit reported Friday, while adding that luckily no one was hurt.

The dopey motorist put out the flames with a fire extinguisher. He told authorities he spotted a spider on his gas tank and pulled out his lighter to get rid of it, the station said. He claimed to be deathly afraid of spiders.

“He didn’t have a cigarette. He didn’t have anything on him. All of a sudden I look out and I see flames,” employee Susan Adams told Fox 2.

Calmly, Adams hit the gas automatic stop button and quickly called the Center Line Fire Department.

The fire destroyed the gas pump. The motorist’s vehicle suffered little damage.
His stupidity didn’t stop him from returning the next day for another fill up.
 

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http://www.argusleader.com/story/ne...ts-self-penis-lies-police-affidavit/72806458/

Man shoots self in penis, lies to police: affidavit
Mark Walker, mwalker@argusleader.com

A convicted felon who accidentally shot himself in the penis was arrested after police say he lied about how the shooting happened.

Donald Anthony Watson was admitted to the Avera McKennan emergency room about 1:30 a.m. Sept. 6 for a gunshot wound to his penis, according to an arrest affidavit.

When questioned by police, the 43-year-old said he was shot by “a black guy (who) tried to rob” him while he was taking out the trash at his apartment.

Officers went to Watson’s apartment in the 1500 block of East Nye Street to look for evidence and witnesses to corroborate Watson’s story. No evidence of a shooting was found near the dumpster. A witness told officers he heard screams of pain coming from Watson’s apartment about 1 a.m. that morning.

A search warrant was served on Watson’s house because of the conflicting stories. Officers found what appeared to be bullet fragments on Watson’s bed, court records show. An empty gun case was found. Officers weren’t able to locate the firearm.

Before Watson entered surgery, officers again asked him how he was shot. This time, he told the officer he shot himself while looking at a gun he was trying to buy.

Two days after the surgery, Watson was re-interviewed about the shooting. He told officers he was examining the gun, placed it in his pocket and the gun discharged, striking him in the penis. He refused to tell officers who was selling the gun and where the gun is now.

Watson was then arrested on charges of possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, possession of a firearm by a drug offender, false report of a crime to law enforcement and false report of information to law enforcement.
 

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I'm a vegan and even I know these people are dumbasses. Click the link below to watch actual dumbasses in action.
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http://www.theamericanmirror.com/video-vegan-protesters-storm-steakhouse-shout-at-customers/

VIDEO: Vegan protesters storm steakhouse, shout at customers
OCTOBER 1, 2015
BY KYLE OLSON


A group of vegans thought they would further their cause by storming a Toronto steakhouse, peppering a hostess with questions and shouting at customers.

Instead, even those on the left are ridiculing their tactics.

Several protesters from a group identified as “Direct Action Everywhere Toronto” by the Huffington Post entered The Keg Mansion steakhouse in Toronto, Canada. Video shows the lead agitator perusing a menu near the entrance of the restaurant.

“So, I’m just wondering, I don’t see any dog meat here,” the protester said to the hostess trying to wait on restaurant patrons. The hostess stood stone-faced, either unamused or not understanding how this would could be so stupid.

“That’s the latest thing. I thought this was a meat restaurant,” the agitator said.

“It’s steak,” the hostess replied.

“It’s steak, but steak is made out of cows. And I see you have chicken which is obviously chicken. And I see you’ve got pigs here but you don’t have dogs here. So I’m wondering why you don’t have dog.”

The hostess shrugged her shoulders, probably wishing she called in sick this night so she didn’t have to deal with this moronic protester.

The woman handed back the menu and said, “Where’s the dog meat? I mean, you’ve got the other meats, I don’t understand it. Are you ever going to have dog meat here? Why not? I want to know!”

In the words of one Reddit user, the “group of assholes” then went to the center of the restaurant and began shouting at the confused customers.

The woman proceeded to rant about Cecil the Lion, a chicken the woman knew “who had a unique personality” (let that sink in for a moment) that likes “corn, watermelon and hugs,” while her comrades walked around with printed signs reading, “It’s not food. It’s violence.”

In between snickers and smirks, the customers appeared to be unmoved by the protesters’ tactics.

Jenny McQueen, one of the protest organizers, tells Vice.com: “We’re trying to cause a little disruption in society. Society normalizes violence against animals, unknowingly a lot of the time. People eat meat, buy meat from the supermarket. They don’t realize what they’re eating or what they’re buying was a thinking and feeling animal. You know, pigs feel pain just like cats and dogs.”
 

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Maybe he was eating too many pork rolls on the job.

I once worked as a shipping receiver supervisor at a company that made batteries. They hired a man to assist me. His odor would cause me to stuff kleenex into my nostrils. I told him repeatedly to take a bath and use deodorant.

One day I told my boss he had to go because I couldn't take it any longer. He told me to stop whining and get back to work. I made him a deal; find something to do for the guy in his office for 30 minutes and if the boss could take it then I wouldn't complain about him any more. He was fired within the hour.

"Smell ya later." - Nelson Muntz :shades:
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http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/flatulence-firing-lawsuit-654930

Lawsuit Claims Man’s Flatulence Prompted Firing
"Extreme gas" occurred after gastric bypass, complaint says

A Pennsylvania man was fired from his job at a pork roll producer due to extreme flatulence brought on by gastric bypass surgery, according to a discrimination lawsuit filed by the man’s wife.

In a federal complaint, Louann Clem, 59, charges that the Case Pork Roll Company terminated her husband Richard, 70, last year after the Trenton, New Jersey firm’s president frequently complained about her spouse’s condition.

Louann Clem, who also worked for the company, said that her husband--who weighed 420 pounds--underwent gastric bypass surgery in 2010. “As a result of the surgery, Mr. Clem suffered side effects such as extreme gas and uncontrollable diarrhea,” the lawsuit notes.

As her husband’s symptoms worsened, Clem says, a“significant disruption in the workplace” occurred.

Clem alleges that the pork roll company’s president frequently harassed her about her spouse’s condition, and made comments like “We cannot run an office and have visitors with the odor in the office” and “Tell Rich that we are getting complaints from visitors who have problems with the odors.”

According to the complaint, Richard Clem, who was the firm’s comptroller, was terminated last February from the pork roll company. On the same day, Louann “terminated her employment because of the harassment and discrimination her husband faced as a result of his disability and the resulting symptoms,” the lawsuit claims.

Clem’s disability discrimination complaint, which does not specify monetary damages, was filed after the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission issued her a “right to sue” letter in response to Clem’s filing of a discrimination charge against her ex-employer.

It is unclear why Richard Clem is not a plaintiff in the federal lawsuit, which was filed last month in U.S. District Court in Trenton. (Humiliation?)
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Is it discrimination to not want to smell someone's continual foul smelling "flatulence"?
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Something doesn't smell right about this story....
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Fired for farting.....that's got to look good on a resume
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Run a tube up his butt and heat the building. He's an untapped source of natural gas.
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The Smoking Buns
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I wonder if they considered using caged canaries like the miners did in the past to detect deadly gas.
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They did...all the canaries died.
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Alas! The reason for global warming...this guy! lol
 

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http://myfox8.com/2015/10/08/man-who-calls-police-to-say-hes-too-high-found-in-pile-of-doritos/

AUSTINTOWN, Ohio -- An Ohio man made a strange, and not-so-wise call to police last Friday to tell them that he was "too high" on marijuana.

Police arrived at the 22-year-old man's home at approximately 5:20 p.m, according to WJW.

There, they found him on the floor "in a fetal position," surrounded by, "a plethora of Doritos, Pepperidge Farm Goldfish and Chips Ahoy cookies."

According to a police report, the man told the officer that he couldn't feel his hands because he smoked too much weed.

The 22-year-old gave the officer the keys to his car, where he had smoked the pot. The cop recovered a glass pipe, rolling papers, roaches and a glass jar of marijuana.

According to the police report, charges are pending for drug possession and drug paraphernalia.
 

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http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/oct/13/woman-sues-11-year-old-nephew-hug-broke-wrist

New York woman sues 12-year-old nephew over hug that broke her wrist

A Manhattan human resources manager is suing her 12-year-old nephew for leaping into her arms when he welcomed her to his eighth birthday party.

The aunt, Jennifer Connell, claims her nephew acted unreasonably when his exuberant greeting caused her to fall and break her wrist in 2011, the Westport News reported from the courthouse on Monday.

Woman who sued nephew over wrist-breaking hug receives zero damages

She is seeking $127,000 in damages from the boy, whose mother died last year. Westport News also reported that the 12-year-old appeared confused as he sat in the courtroom with his father. Connell reportedly testified that she loves her nephew, whom she described as always being “very loving, sensitive” toward her.

He had been riding his first two-wheeled bicycle – which was bright red, according to testimony – around his home. When Connell arrived, he dropped it. “I remember him shouting, ‘Auntie Jen, I love you!’ and there he was flying at me,” Connell reportedly testified.

Of the damage done, Connell testified that she did not complain at the time, but she said her life had been “very difficult” since the injury because of “how crowded it is in Manhattan”. “I was at a party recently, and it was difficult to hold my hors d’oeuvre plate,” she reportedly said.
 

Memento

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http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/oct/13/woman-sues-11-year-old-nephew-hug-broke-wrist

New York woman sues 12-year-old nephew over hug that broke her wrist

A Manhattan human resources manager is suing her 12-year-old nephew for leaping into her arms when he welcomed her to his eighth birthday party.

The aunt, Jennifer Connell, claims her nephew acted unreasonably when his exuberant greeting caused her to fall and break her wrist in 2011, the Westport News reported from the courthouse on Monday.

Woman who sued nephew over wrist-breaking hug receives zero damages

She is seeking $127,000 in damages from the boy, whose mother died last year. Westport News also reported that the 12-year-old appeared confused as he sat in the courtroom with his father. Connell reportedly testified that she loves her nephew, whom she described as always being “very loving, sensitive” toward her.

He had been riding his first two-wheeled bicycle – which was bright red, according to testimony – around his home. When Connell arrived, he dropped it. “I remember him shouting, ‘Auntie Jen, I love you!’ and there he was flying at me,” Connell reportedly testified.

Of the damage done, Connell testified that she did not complain at the time, but she said her life had been “very difficult” since the injury because of “how crowded it is in Manhattan”. “I was at a party recently, and it was difficult to hold my hors d’oeuvre plate,” she reportedly said.

Holy shit, that bitch needs to be taught a lesson in pain. She needs her other wrist broken. Fuck that bitch for suing a poor twelve-year-old who lost his mother. The judge better throw it out and throw her in jail for child abuse. Fucking bitch...
 

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http://www.nationalreview.com/article/426260/halloween-colleges-costumes-consultants

Colleges Designating Official Halloween Costume Sensitivity Consultants
by KATHERINE TIMPF October 29, 2015/@KATTIMPF


It’s about time!

Colleges are hanging flyers around campus with phone numbers of officials that students can call to consult with about whether or not their Halloween costume is perfectly politically correct. “Unsure if your costume might be offensive?” asks a poster that’s been hung around campus at State University of New York at Geneseo. “Don’t be afraid to ask questions.”

The poster contains the phone numbers and e-mails of five campus officials that students can contact and discuss the very important issue of whether or not what they will dress up as to get drunk in will be advancing social-justice causes. Wesleyan University has been hanging similar posters around the school — but with six numbers listed.

It’s not clear whether students will be able to reach these numbers round-the-clock through Halloween weekend. Hopefully they will. After all, Halloween is a very serious issue, and can not be treated as if it were just some fun little holiday that’s a chance for people to use their imaginations and have some fun without taking each other too seriously. It’s a good first step.

Maybe next year, the schools can deploy cultural-sensitivity control officers to bust into parties and round up anyone spotted in a sombrero or afro wig. To make the world, you know, better. The costume-consultant trend was initially reported on in a piece on the College Fix.
 

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http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2015...ey-pulls-gun-threatens-to-shoot-fake-spiders/

Police: W. Va. Attorney Pulls Gun, Threatens To Shoot Fake Spiders

LOGAN W. Va. (KDKA) – A West Virginia assistant prosecuting attorney has been suspended for a bizarre incident involving a gun and fake spiders.

WCHS reports that assistant prosecutor Chris White was suspended for allegedly pulling a pistol on some fake spiders in his office.

According to Logan County Prosecutor John Bennett, several secretaries in the office decorated for Halloween.

Those decorations included fake spiders.

White apparently suffers from arachnophobia and became irate over the decorations.

That’s when he allegedly pulled a pistol and threated to shoot the spiders.

Bennett told WCHS, “He said they had spiders everyplace and he said he told them it wasn’t funny, and he couldn’t stand them, and he did indeed get a gun out. It had no clip in it, of course they wouldn’t know that, I wouldn’t either if I looked at it, to tell you the truth.”

Logan County Chief Deputy M.A. says there is an open criminal investigation into the incident.
 

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It's good to be cautious with all the maniacs roaming around these days but if you can't tell the difference between a stapler and a lethal weapon you might be a dumbass.

OGc7xlK.jpg

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http://boston.cbslocal.com/2015/11/04/southbridge-middlehigh-school-lockdown/

Student Waving Stapler Prompts Southbridge School Lockdown

SOUTHBRIDGE (CBS) — The Southbridge Middle/High School was locked down Wednesday afternoon after students reported seeing a weapon.

The building was put into shelter-in place lockdown and no weapon was found.

Sources tell WBZ that a student was waving a stapler, and other students thought it was a gun.

A photo from a student that was sent to WBZ showed armed police officers walking through a hallway.


Police in Southbridge Middle/High School during the lockdown (viewer photo)

Police said all students and staff were safe and there was no immediate danger.

The school was cleared shortly before 3 p.m. and students were dismissed.
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Stupidity marches on. It's like a giant steam roller, slowly and irresistably crushing everything in its path.
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This is the way you act when you're 14-years old, not when you're a married adult. That makes her a dumbass and a cough...stalker...cough.
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http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepag...-love-with-country-music-star-at-concert.html

Woman files for divorce after 'falling in love' with country music star at concert

Capture-1-_M__2561235a.jpg


A WOMAN who met a country music star after his concert at a “meet and greet” said it was “love at first sight” - and filed for divorce when she got home.

Jenna’s “instant connection” with Kip Moore caused the married mum-of-two to leave her hubby of eight years in a desperate attempt to marry the musician.

Speaking of her time with the star, she said: “He stared into my eyes. I’ve never felt something so strongly in my life.”

After the show, the musician signed his superfan’s back, and she has since turned his autograph into a tattoo as a “symbol of his kindness and passion”.

Jenna has also written Kip a 12-page letter, scrawled “Marry Me Kip” across the back of her car and desperately tried to call his management to get through to the star.

Refusing to give up, Jenna said: “I’m destined to be with Kip Moore. If Kip would be willing, I will marry him and run off to Hawaii and I’ll have his surfer babies.”

GettyImages-488808_2561233a.jpg

She fell in love with country music star Kip Moore/ Getty

She admits she realised “without a doubt” she wanted to divorce husband Travis after the concert, saying she couldn’t go back home to what she had.

Jenna added: “Having the interaction I had with Kip Moore made me realise that love is supposed to be special and not full of hate and disgust the way I had with my husband.”
 

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Hey dude, run...don't walk...and get away from this dumbass as quickly as you can. Btw...the comments, while cruel, are a scream.
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http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/stupid/florida-sex-position-dispute-746391

Woman Battered Beau Over Sex Position Dispute
It really does not get more Florida than this misdemeanor matter

wendyluper2.jpg


NOVEMBER 16--Meet Wendy Luper.

The 45-year-old Florida woman was arrested Saturday evening following an bizarre series of events that began with a trip to a storage unit with her ex-
husband (with whom Luper has recently reunited).

According to cops, Luper and Michael Vaccaro--who were married for 12 years--drove together to retrieve some of his belongings from their storage unit in Bradenton.

While parked in the rear of the facility, “Luper got undressed, and asked Vaccaro if he wanted to have sexual intercourse,” police reported. “Vaccaro agreed, and told Luper to lay down.”

But Luper, a court filing notes, “did not want to have sexual intercourse in that position and stated no.” It is unclear where the pair was planning to tryst, or the position that was rejected by Luper

During a subsequent argument, Luper allegedly struck Vaccaro in the head with a thrown object. As Vaccaro sought to remove some of his belongings from the car’s rear seat, Luper allegedly accelerated the auto “with Vaccaro still half way inside the vehicle.” As Vaccaro “pulled out of the vehicle,” Luper drove over his right foot.

When cops arrived at the scene, Vaccaro was bleeding from a head wound and his right foot appeared to be swelling. After being contacted by police, Luper returned to the vicinity of the storage facility. “She was unable to explain” Vaccaro’s injuries, noted police, who added that she “stated Vaccaro wanted to have sex with her.”

Seen above, Luper, who works as a housekeeper, was arrested for domestic battery. She was booked into jail on the misdemeanor charge and released from custody yesterday after posting $750 bond.

Luper was busted in August for domestic battery after she allegedly punched Vaccaro in the face, neck, and arm after he ignored her request to do laundry. Prosecutors subsequently declined to pursue the misdemeanor charge against Luper.